Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Playing

Since I'm the only one who will sit still long enough for me to mess with the unfamiliar settings on my new toy...

Monday, December 25, 2006

I do love Christmas Morning

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

In spite of appearances...

... finishing my degree will not amount to finishing my blog. Certainly, it's highly debatable whether or not a thing such as a blog could ever be finished. Anyway, I just didn't have much to say for a while.

We had snow flurries here today. And I attempted to accomplish a lot of Christmas shopping online but succeeded only in wasting a lot of time. Then I watched a very long movie I had already seen more than once. A good day. The kind of day that only comes along with a certain lack of stress.

Oh yes, and I got a new phone. It's a flip phone - black and silver like my road bike. I did not pick it out, or have anything to do with acquiring it. It was literally just handed to me. To be fair, it's not a cool phone. It's merely new.

Then I went through and moved all my contacts from my old phone to my new phone. I did not transfer a lot of them. And I still have eighty-two entries in my new phone. Who are these people? I certainly don't have eighty-two people I call on a regular basis. But there they are, in my phone. Important enough that I fear if I delete their number I might one day want to call them again.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Finished

That's what I finally did today. Finished my degrees. It's an odd thing, to know I'll only ever go to school again if I get into grad school.

Immediately after I submitted my last art history test, I cleaned my room. It feels good to sit in space that's not in total disarray.

Jesse arrives in a few hours. Friday I go to Flagstaff again, briefly. Saturday, Meryl and I come back. Two weeks from tomorrow, Brian will arrive. A week or two after that, we'll drive back to Iowa.

In the meantime, I intend to relax.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Most of My Stuff is On it's Way to Iowa

Life seems bent on making me absurd lately. I doubt too many people in their mid-twenties prepare for the movers to come by hauling various bins and pieces of furniture across a wash using a very much rusted out little red wagon. Perhaps the pinnacle of my day was when I was transporting Peanut on top of a set of folding shelves. Going down the slope behind my house, the wagon gained a little too much momentum. I tried to slow it down. The shelving unit slipped off the side, creating a nice smooth ramp that Peanut descended gracefully to land face down in the wash.

And, for the record, I don't see any more landscape paintings in my future.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Today's Moment

While lying halfway inside the trunk of a Honda Civic, it occurred to me that only a cartoon character could reasonably hope to accomplish what I was attempting. I must have looked like the Grinch stealing Christmas. But I got the tree home, anyway.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Praise Prometheus


There is nothing quite like a fire on a cold and blustery day. And, I have to say, there is a delicious feeling of usefulness that grows out of the making of a fire. First, going outside into the elements and selecting the correct wood for the fire. Then, coming inside and breaking pieces of wood into smaller pieces of wood with a hatchet. Laying the fire. Lighting the fire. It all makes me feel positively clever and capable. I, for one, like fire.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Mira Revealed

Meryl's cat also got a new do today.




She's not quite the voluptuous being we'd expected to find underneath all that fur.

New in the Family

The bad news is Hans, the Svede Mobile, will be leaving the family circle.


The goods news - Meryl is now the proud owner of a 2001 RAV4.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Runt of the Litter

That's me. Today we officially figured out Meryl has passed me in height. Leaving me the shortest offspring of my parents.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Horses in Iowa

Brian sent me some photos of horses, perhaps to keep me convinced I want to move out there.




Those little dots? Horses.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Some Photos

I've finally gotten around to posting the few photos I did take from my last trip to the midwest.



The area outside Iowa city.



Brian's mom, and a sunset.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Sometimes a cold glass of milk tastes so good

It's something I've never outgrown.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Injustice (in a frivolous sense)

I think my least favorite manifestation of male-female gender types illustrates itself in jackets. When men buy a jacket, they have two exterior pockets and at least half a dozen inner, hidden pockets. When women buy a jacket, they are lucky to get two exterior ones. Who's to say we don't want to tuck things away into clever little hiding places now and then?

That's my random rant for the day.

I am back from Iowa, again. I failed miserably in the endeavor of taking more pictures this visit. Fortunately, I will have plenty of time for taking pictures once I live there.

That was my last visit to Iowa. Which means I've got only the rest of November and December and a very small portion of January until I'm calling the midwest home sweet home. This is a little hard to fathom.

Meryl is down for the weekend, altho not yet out of bed. This means we'll get to have some great horseback rides.

Friday, October 27, 2006

The Reason Alternators are Important

Well, I never expected to find myself in a completely dead car with Brian's father, sitting in the third lane of six - literally in the middle of Chicago bumper to bumper rush hour traffic. But that's where I wound up last nite. Needless to say, that was a bit of an experience to get out of. We did tho.

Other than that little electrical failure, the trip went smoothly. After landing in Chicago, I got to nap on the black leather couch in the Southwest Airline's Pilot's lounge until Dutch got off work. Then, once the car was towed, Brian and I spent the night in Geneva at his parent's place. Now we're in Iowa City. The leaves are all red and gold. Brian's house is a brighter white than when I left, but otherwise not much is different. I am finally getting some semblance of a layout for this town. Without mountains or sun (most of the time), I find it very difficult to get my bearings.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

More House-Sitting

The foothills are literally outside my window. A lot of spiders live in the rocks and apparently make their way into the house to grow to rather large proportions. They fit the house tho. This place is huge. In the living room, a cluster of three couches barely takes up a third of the space.

It was great to see old friends last weekend. And young friends. For some reason I'm always astonished when extremely small children talk.

Today I have painting. Wednesday I have an Art History test. Thursday I get on a plane and fly to Chicago. From there Brian's mom will relay me to Brian and we'll make our way to Iowa City. Brian says the weather has been cold. Cold like thirty or forty degrees. On Sunday morning, riding with Meryl, I got a sun-burn. It's been in the high eighties here. I hope I don't go into shock.

It's going to be very good to see Brian again.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

-

Eight more days and I'm off to Iowa again. Fortunately, I have some new winter clothes on the way.

In the meantime, more website work. Shawn's site is growing, tho still sparse. I'm soon to add a bit more to Erik's site, and the family site makes it debut.

Lately the air feels cool as soon as the sun goes down. I do enjoy the fall.

Monday, October 16, 2006

For the Coming Post-Chocolate-Milk Paradigm: Other Drinks That Can Be Made by Just Adding Chocolate Syrup

BY MATTHEW WEBSTER

- - - -

Chocolate water

Chocolate orange juice

Chocolate Coke

Chocolate green tea

Chocolate beer

Chocolate chocolate milk

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Translation

I sometimes think it really is too bad ballroom dancing has gone out of style. It looks like so much fun. Unfortunately, whenever I hear Antonio talk, I think of a cat wearing boots.

http://media3.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/photo/2006/04/06/PH2006040601911.jpg

I've only danced the tango once, and I didn't know what I was doing.

Today I potted petunia's and a small palm. I fed the horses while Pedro cleaned the corral and I felt stupid because the only words I know in his language don't even begin to form a sentence. My inclination is to speak to him in French. Which doesn't help at all.

And somehow I don't think he'd get it if I yelled gleefully, "Estoy mucho lomo!"

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Nothing Like a Sister

It's nice to ride with Meryl. For one thing, she knows Jak far better than I do, so has a much easier time figuring out which of his behaviors are mere antics and which are genuine concerns. I like Jak a lot, but he's so clever he can be exhausting. It's nice to ride with only myself and my own horse to worry about, but have the added enjoyment of company.

For another, she is the only other person I have ever ridden with who can collapse into gales of helpless laughter while riding at high speeds and not risk falling off.

Yesterday a truckload of cowboys whistled at us as we worked in the arena. Tommy got scared and tried to bolt.

Friday, October 06, 2006

House-sitting

My pillowcases are satin, but the bed's smell is alien to me. I lounge with the windows open and listen to the distant yip of the coyotes. Two stories below, I can hear the click of the bloodhounds' toenails as they patrol the strip of cement beneath my bedroom. And although the night breeze is wonderful, the crickets are so loud I might have to close the window to sleep.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Memory

Suddenly, I'm having dreams about a three part harmony and a face I haven't seen in nearly five years. It is true that time heals what reason cannot, but sometimes it takes an awfully large amount of time.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Expansion

The beginnings of two new sites for clients.

Cottonwood Environmental


Shawn's will be viewable soon.

And a third new interested party called today.

Funny how you can start something and it will just grow. It's exciting. To be fair, I owe it all to Sukha, who got me the job at the museum.

But also, I learned today I need to start thinking of this more like a real job. With all this new work, I had hardly a moment of spare time today, so all my plans for various rides and hobbies fell through. I believe I deserve Sundays off.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Luxury

In the desert, I bathe with mangoes and pomegranates. Then I step into the sandy heat to play fetch with the dog.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Opportunity

It never ceases to amaze me what the mind can do to the body.

Yesterday I met a whole barnful of horses. I felt fervently grateful to be on Jak and not Tommy. He was remarkably calm, even about the llamas, and totally endeared himself to everyone/thing.

I don't think anyone has ever offered me a horse for free before. I don't see how I can accept in good conscience. I have too many horses on my hands already.

However, she also said she would teach me about breaking and training in return for a hand with her newest projects. I feel suddenly like I don't have enough time.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Not Up North

It's true. I'm not in Flagstaff anymore - and actually haven't been all week. It's getting to that beautiful time of year in Tucson. The days are still hot but not sweltering and the evenings are pretty much the perfect temperature.

I tend to forget how poisonous the desert is. Yesterday I stepped lightly on a thorn while wandering around outside barefoot. That spot in the bottom of my foot is now swollen and irritated, even though the sticker barely even pierced my skin.

I am getting better at negotiating with my clients. I'm starting to get some sense of what my web work is worth.

And, I came by a seat for my road bike again. It felt great to be back on wheels. I want to ride a lot now.

I just noticed that it's incredibly windy. This means I will ride Jak today. He's spooky, but not genuinely scared of things that aren't there. Unlike Tommy.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Up North

It's already fall in Flagstaff. A cold wind blows. Leaves spiral out of trees. I am here now, but only visiting. It is strange though, this town certainly still feel more familiar than Tucson.

Mira seems to think my stomach must exist for the sole purpose of housing her.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Monsoon

There is nothing like running in off the trail with a storm on your heels, watching the horse in front dodge around cactus and branches. It was fun to ride with Jesse today. I've been going it alone mostly, lately.

We unsaddled in a light rain. Now the mountains are every color, backed by flickers of lightning.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

More

The spoon photos from last nite. Inner vitz > family > extended > dinner party.

Oh, Hugh

Last nite was a classic family gathering. It all started innocently enough. It is a valid question, really, whether or not everyone can dangle a spoon off the tip of their nose.

Later, the Hugh dance returned to the spotlight. Some of the new photos prompted me to build a new page on the inner vitz, under randomness.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

There and back again, again

I just returned to Tucson from another brief stint in Iowa. I heard Marilynne Robinson speak, and had more good times hanging out with Brian.

On my trip back, the usual benevolent travel-luck-fairy that seems to follow me around when I'm on the move apparently had better things to do. I gained a sense of foreboding as soon as I sat down on the flight out from Cedar Rapids and the surly fifteen year old (with hair so long it managed to tickle the skin on my arm the whole flight no matter how far I leaned towards the aisle) who was my seat-mate greeted me with the sullen question, "Ever flown before?" and then proceeded to tell me that she herself was "forced" to fly all the time, traveling between two estranged parents. I tried not to say anything condescending, listen politely and be supportive of all her various hobbies she felt the need to demonstrate (like singing and drawing), but I was fervently glad that flight only lasted half an hour.

Upon landing, I darted away from the startled girl before she had time to ask me for my contact information, and entered the sanctuary of Chicago, O'Hare. There, I discovered my flight was delayed beyond my three hour layover. I called people until my cell phone battery started to look weak, and then wandered off to find the least unpleasant place to whittle away my remaining time.

Before long, I was approached by a very friendly, blonde-haired, attractive, slightly older than me, flannel pants and croc wearing lady. I was sitting by a window drinking an $8 corona and reading The Devil Wear Prada - while not wearing anything resembling Prada myself. She asked if she could sit at my table. I said yes. She started talking. I think she was a lesbian. She was fun to talk to. I mentioned Brian frequently.

I eventually left her company to go to my gate, so I could sit there for over and hour before I got on my plane, only to sit between two people who did not speak English for two hours before we were airborne.

I finally made it to Phoenix four hours later than I should have, and of course missed the last flight to Tucson. I haggled them into putting me on the last airport shuttle, and my glorious parents rescued me from he dingy Circle K at Orange Grove and Thornydale just after midnight. 2:00 am Iowa time.

Stan is still waiting for me at the airport. Poor little fellow.

Now, I get to celebrate my homecoming by attending my favorite class ever, Painting I.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Night Hunting

There's nothing like stalking a cricket at 3 am. This one was carrying on at such a level of intensity, he woke me up. I'd almost managed to catch him before going to bed, but he avoided me then by cleverly employing the lip on the bookcase. At that point, he got scared enough to stay quiet for about four hours. But then he launched in again, slowly dragging me out of my dreams. I got up and moved things around in his general vicinity a few times, which was enough to quiet him down briefly. Apparently, however, the little critter had acquired some extra levels of boldness during the hours I slept, because he would stay inactive only until I turned the light back out.

So, it came down to hunting by sound. I waited for him to get his racket going at full tilt. Then, using small movements, I crossed the room. Still, he quieted as I approached. At first, I had concentrated my efforts on the bookcase, but after sitting still long enough to allow him to take up his serenade again, I realized the clever little bastard had moved.

Near the bookcase was the heap of items I have not yet unpacked. Some scattered clothes, a few boxes and two baskets temporarily containing my spare toiletries. I picked up a few clothing items. He kept chirping. I moved more clothes. Didn't phase him. Finally, I picked up one of the baskets. His chirping diminished to a cautious warble, and the sound moved with my hand. I had him!

Not getting overly sure of myself, I took the basket out into the front room. You see, we've established this cricket is clever. I didn't want him jumping away from me only to find a new hiding place equally effective at destroying my rest. The thing is, I actually rather like the sound of crickets chirping. Just not right in my bedroom.

Once in the other room, I turned the lights on and he fell silent. I took out two items from the basket, and there he was, clinging to the woven side. He took one look at my sleep deprived countenance and scampered deeper into the basket. He found an opened box of razor blades, and entered. He was really trapped now.

I picked up the box, removed the two unused blades from the inside, carried it (covering the opening with my hand to prevent last minute escape) to the nearest door, and ejected him into his native environment. I heard his shell click the cardboard edge of the box as he sailed clear, and the satisfying thunk as he landed on the ground a few seconds later.

The image “http://www.ag.ndsu.nodak.edu/aginfo/entomology/entupdates/Indoor_pest/images/field_cricket.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Then I went back to bed and slept until morning.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Luckily, ice prevents swelling

Today will not go down in history as containing the best horseback ride I've ever had.

Tommy's problem, I have decided, lies entirely in over-dramatizing. He's overly-dramatic about changes: "Oh my god. Wait, wait guys. I can't walk. I absolutely can't walk. Did you know I don't have shoes on?"

He's overly dramatic about everything he encounters while on the trail: "I don't know. I think that's a car. It's definitely a car. I can't go any closer. Oh, it's moving! We'd better run."

He's overly dramatic about daily horse routine activities: "I realize you put my fly mask on every day, but TODAY, it might kill me."

And, he's overly dramatic about anything that doesn't fall into any of these categories.

But, in spite of the fact that he dumped me in the wash two days ago due to concern over a piece of partially buried flagging tape, hit me in the head with his head today and split my lip open due to fear of fly repellent, and still won't willingly approach me unless I have food, he's made progress in a lot of ways. I'm actually starting to like him. =)

Monday, August 21, 2006

Guns

Sometimes I have these moments when I think maybe my vast hatred for guns is irrational. Then something happens - in this case a friend of mine got shot in the back while loading his bike into his car - and I realize it is not. Seriously, how hard is it to check an area before firing guns into it? And who drives around and shoots out of their car windows in the first place?

If no one had guns, my friend would not be in critical condition.

I think my least favorite trait among humans is carelessness.

***

On a lighter note, today I opened a drawer, pulled some clothing out, put on the clothes and closed the drawer. This was exciting. I have not experienced such a thing in nearly a month. I am tired of moving.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Faulty RAM Wreaks Havoc

Did you know a computer won't even start to boot if one of the RAM chips is bad? I didn't. I do now. Computers are always so... educational. At least I became very familiar with taking mine apart last semester.

I've been hit with another building bug. Brian and Michelle are now proud owners of pages on vitzy.com. Liz, James, Sukha, Ty and my family members all have new pages. Autumn's page didn't change much. I'm still too fond of it.

These are all in the Inner Vitz. Directions for getting there are below.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

If wishes were fishes...

Dude's new home is on the bathroom counter. My only fear is that he'll exhaust himself antagonizing the fish in the mirror. Or, perhaps he'll just change his ways.

For those of you who were pining away for the personal dimension of my website, The Inner Vitz has returned. Right now it is still fairly sparse, but hopefully it will grow pretty quickly. It's a little harder to get to now, tho. It has two tiers of security. First go to http://vitzys.com/robin, and the second step will be explained there. If you can't figure out the password based on the clue, feel free to ask for it.

I can't get it through my head that I'm really not going back to Flagstaff...

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

My zipponi heart is full of tacks. Some in the shape of shoes.

Today I pulled weeds and went for a horseback ride. Jak, my sister's horse, is too clever for his own good. But then, so is my sister sometimes.

Yesterday, I went through a couple drawers containing objects that were important to me in high school. Many of the things I found made me laugh. I threw almost all of them away. I sometimes wonder if I'm a little too good at leaving things behind. Perhaps I am just good at focusing on what is relevant.

Due to various reading I did today, I feel glad that I was not joined from the hips with a twin at birth, and also that I am not a hermaphrodite.

The very small moth sitting on my computer screen seems unconcerned when I trace around it with my mouse pointer.

Squishy or Speck died. I never could tell them apart. Now I'm down to one small orange fish.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Return

I came from the rolling hills of the midwest back to the desert... where the monsoons have been over-abundant. Walking around my parents land is a damp, weed-navigating experience. The plants are up to my elbows already. It never ceases to amaze me what water does out here. I enjoy the green blush on the hills, and Ruby is ecstatic about this new ball-hunting wilderness.

Tonite I'm on the road again. First to Phoenix for a visit with James, then an early stop at the airport to fetch Meryl and take her back to Flagstaff. I'll spend about two days up north, tying up loose ends etc. Then I can finally come back down here, unpack, situate, and stay for a while.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Travels

Last week we drove out of Arizona and through New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri and into Iowa, where we hung out and set up Brian's little house in Iowa City.


The small towns are enchanting and I had a lot of fun getting to know the city.

On Sunday we came up to the Chicago suburbs, where his parents live. We've been playing "bags" in the yard, soaking in the hot tub and hanging out with the highly personable and mellow yellow lab, Lance.

Today, we plan to take the train into the city and see the sights... mainly the museums.

Thursday it's back to the desert for me. It's hard to believe I don't live in Flagstaff anymore. My apartment is already housing its new occupants. My little sister lives in Brian's old place. It's been such a whirlwind of a summer.

I am, however, excited about what I'm going back to.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Coutdown

Packing. It never ceases to amaze me, when I really pull everything out and look at it, exactly how much stuff I have. I have spent the last couple months throwing away and giving away and I still just have stuff. The bulk of it is books and art and clothing, but my hobbies take up a lot of space as well. I have to take four bikes home to Tucson with me. Road bike, commuter bike, mountain bike, cruiser bike. My fifth one (campus bike), I plan to leave here for Meryl.

Every time I look around I think, there must be something else I can get rid of. I keep coming back to my fencing gear. Do I even need it anymore? I haven't been able to get my heart back into that since I got home from Wales. That was three years ago now.

I am excited for the up-coming road trip. I'm going to drive Brian's car to Iowa. I've never been any farther east than Colorado (not counting airports and foreign countries). It will be interesting to see the land my family comes from. And meet his family.

We leave on Monday.

Then I get to go home for a while... take Painting 1 at Pima Community College and cool my jets. And apply for grad schools. Wait to see which direction my future takes.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Old Sunburn

I brush a layer skin off my leg with my hand and wonder how many little pieces I've left around the world.

The monsoons so far are backwards this year. Rain in the morning. Sun in the afternoon. Right now the sky is a multitude of grays and blues and pale yellows.

My brother and sister are on a small piece of land surrounded by an ocean. This time of day won't reach them for three more hours.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Mulberries

I had never really noticed before, but there are a lot of fruit producing trees around NAU's campus.

My road bike works again. Which is to say it has a chain again. Funny how useless a bike is without a chain.

The fourth of July was lovely this year, except for when we got trapped by the parade. The weather was perfect for a mountain bike ride, and Brian showed me some wonderfully fun trails I'd never ridden.

Today I had a former client bring me more of her pieces to frame. It's always somehow gratifying when that happens.

I am tired today. Which is strange because I've been sleeping just fine.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Diversions on a rainy day in summer

Figure out your answers for each of the below.
Put them into a Google image search.
Grab the first interesting image for each answer, and post the images (without showing the actual answer) in your journal, along with the meme rules.

1. The age you will be on your next birthday.


2. A place to which you'd like to travel



3. Your favorite place



4. Your favorite object



5. Your favorite food



6. Your favorite animal



7. The town in which you were born



8. The name of a past pet



9. The name of a past love



10. Your favorite color



11. First name


12. Middle name



13. Last name


Friday, June 30, 2006

Bottles

Jason Hess made good on his promise this week. I am the proud owner of one of his lovely ceramic bottle sets.

A Nite to Remember

Last nite I was reminded again of the simple but tangible sense of well-being that comes from spending time with a couple good friends. Looking at life through hookah smoke makes everything a little better anyway, and when looking through hookah smoke at two of my favorite people and an open bottle of Dom Perignon, it's hard to find my situation lacking.

The summer is flying by. It's hard not to want to dig my heels in a little. I know change is important, and the path that leads me from here will be a good one. But it's difficult to stand in to the known looking at the unknown, and feel happy about saying good-bye to a wonderful life that's been six years in the making.

At least the loves that call me home are strong ones. I haven't gone on a good horseback ride in ages, and the desert landscape pulls me together in a way nowhere else does.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

-------

It's been stormy here but the forests are still closed.

Yesterday I read The Life of Pi. Very much worth reading. Very much.

I feel like I should write in my new blog, but don't really find myself with much to say.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Starting Anew

So, here I am on my brand new blog. Now anyone can leave me comments, and we don't have to look at annoying ads all the time. =)

Monday, June 26, 2006

Ten Days in Santa Barbara

I just spent over a week on vacation from vacation. Such a rough life I lead. I am significantly more tan now. We took our road bikes and lots of books and hung out in a beautiful house on a hillside overlooking the ocean. Brian and I wandered through museums and bookstores. We ate sushi, and I did my best to start using possessives while referring to a certain baseball team. I also learned a lot about crossword puzzles.

Unlike the room I slept in for the last number of nights, I don't go to bed now with the sliding door open, feeling the breeze from the ocean stir across my skin. I'm once more a little too hot, listening to traffic and the people upstairs. But it's good to be home.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

20 20

Today I set a personal record for longest time spent on a bike. Two and a half hours. I realize, in the realm of road biking, this is not a long time. However, we all have to start somewhere.

When I got home I passed out hard for a couple of hours (I did not sleep well last nite), and had some strange dreams about things that have been gone from my daily thought process for a long time. This caused me to continue thinking about things I haven't thought about for a long time when I woke, and all I can fairly say on the subject is the old adage, "Time heals what reason cannot," is definitely true. It's odd to be able to think these events over so objectively now... sort of like going back and reading a story I wrote a long, long time ago. I can remember what I was thinking at the time, and how it all made sense in my head. It's even slightly endearing (in a strange way) to remember the me who wrote it. But from my new standpoint, the entire thing is obviously juvenile and I'd certainly never give it to anyone else to read.

I have taken to drinking breakfast shakes before going to bed.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I Don't Like Ladders

I'm only glad Kathy had her epiphany about the stairwell before I fell to my death trying to get the reject lights to lock into the track. I really don't like ladders. Have I ever mentioned that? Yeah, I don't like them.

She did confess afterwards she would have felt responsible had anything gone wrong... ...

However, the collection show will be done and off our backs tomorrow, and it's another lovely, cool nite. On my way home today large drops of rain fell through the sunlight to land on my face. That was nice. There are plenty of things I love about Flagstaff.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I wake from a sleep of nightmares to find my room full of the smell of England. The rain will keep me from riding the horses this morning.

Yesterday, even a man who claims to be educated about art demonstrated that he did not understand what I meant when I called myself a printmaker. He brought me an old reproduction of a painting and wanted me to tell him it was hand-pulled - one of a kind. I find it hard to talk to these people, and feel oddly guilty when I have to say, "This is not a fine art print."

Then they say, "What's a fine art print."

Ha. Maybe someday I'll find an easy way to answer that question.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

It's possible Old Main is haunted.

I have a greater capacity to get creeped out, downstairs in that building than anywhere else. Earlier today, I thought, "Great, Sunday, no one will be around. I can get a lot of work done." But then I found the back hallway unlocked when I arrived and remembered the homeless person I'd found between the stairwells the last time I was there late, and alone. Of course, the offices and entryways are usually open, but that hallway being unlocked means anyone could have gotten anywhere in the Art Museum (except 2D and 3D). Knowing that is probably what got me jumping at shadows.

Most of the time I spent locked in 2D, secure in the knowledge that the only key that can open that door was in there with me. But then I had to take the reframed canvases upstairs, and someone called the elevator between the moment I unloaded the first two and the last one. (Let me note again, this was 8:00 on a Sunday nite. No one should have been in that building). Someone called the elevator but it did not move again, and as soon as I called it back, the doors opened to reveal it was without passenger. I retrieved my last canvas and someone called it again. I stood and listened this time, but again, it did not go to another floor after the one it was called to. Then I had to call it back to lock it. Again, it was empty. After that, the elevator did not leave again. But I did. I hauled the last three canvases up the back stairs and took off.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

The sunburn fades off my thighs while the sky bleeds red. I have poured a day into nothing and my reward is this sick feeling and strange images behind my eyes. I find myself irritable with people who are on the other end of a phone line. I want no more of it.

This morning I watched flecks of brown hair break into short pieces and fall through the sunlight while ladybug larvae crawled on my hands. This morning he kissed me twice and said good-bye. I now have one week during which my life will return to what it was before him - except, I suppose, I now possess the capacity to realize he's missing from my days.

I realize no one can go full speed ahead all the time, but I feel sick with the waste of this day. Tomorrow will be different.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Back and Forth

Tucson felt hot, Flagstaff feels cold. Arizona and its extremes...

It was nice to have another five days at home, and it's nice to be in my cool, quiet apartment again. This summer is going to be mellow. Most of my friends have already left. I think I'm in a kind of denial that my life here is finally, sincerely, winding down. This summer will pass in a warm, heady haze, and then I'll pack my things and leave.

The future remains indistinct. I am looking forward to the anonymity that will greet me in Tucson... and the respite from school. However, I do need to rouse myself and pick a direction. Otherwise, in a number of months, I'll find myself still drifting. I find it so hard to weigh the factors. This would all be so much easier if one could look into the future and somehow discern which things will remain important. I suppose that wouldn't work tho.

I have new sheets, and Brian's feet should soon be much softer.

Solitude is such a strange thing. I am convinced it is a necessary ingredient in happiness... but so many people avoid it at all costs. The only sounds I have heard today are the passing of cars and the wind in the trees. I have not laid eyes on a single other person. Such days are so infrequent, but precious. They allow my mind to unravel, stretch and turn back on itself. They allow me to understand who I am.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Back on the Mountain

Of course, Flagstaff is beautiful in the summer as well.

The angle that changes with the seasons has caused my sunbeam to abandon me.

It was nice to wake again this morning with a reason to stay in bed.

Monday, May 15, 2006

The First Swim of the Summer

Dizzy dives and sopping jeans. The horses stared at us in astonishment as we walked back by the corral dripping, carrying our boots.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Breeze

There is nothing like a summer nite in Tucson.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Tremor

Life seems never short of lessons lately.

Funny that the two weeks after my BFA would turn out to be just as stressful as the two before.

There is nothing as beautiful as when the weather turns warm enough to bike home without gloves and not feel cold.

I can't wait for all the things that have yet to come.