Back and Forth

Tucson felt hot, Flagstaff feels cold. Arizona and its extremes...

It was nice to have another five days at home, and it's nice to be in my cool, quiet apartment again. This summer is going to be mellow. Most of my friends have already left. I think I'm in a kind of denial that my life here is finally, sincerely, winding down. This summer will pass in a warm, heady haze, and then I'll pack my things and leave.

The future remains indistinct. I am looking forward to the anonymity that will greet me in Tucson... and the respite from school. However, I do need to rouse myself and pick a direction. Otherwise, in a number of months, I'll find myself still drifting. I find it so hard to weigh the factors. This would all be so much easier if one could look into the future and somehow discern which things will remain important. I suppose that wouldn't work tho.

I have new sheets, and Brian's feet should soon be much softer.

Solitude is such a strange thing. I am convinced it is a necessary ingredient in happiness... but so many people avoid it at all costs. The only sounds I have heard today are the passing of cars and the wind in the trees. I have not laid eyes on a single other person. Such days are so infrequent, but precious. They allow my mind to unravel, stretch and turn back on itself. They allow me to understand who I am.