Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Herbal Suppliments

So, here is some trivia for you. What do all these products, Colon xR, Acai Noni and Vital RezV, all have have in common?


Well, to be honest, we are not exactly sure - other than they are produced and relentlessly marketed by people who exploit those with low self-esteem and a fear of death to make money. Until recently, Brian and I remained blissfully unaware such products existed. When all of a sudden these little bottles of pills started showing up in our mail, their packaging and sales-pitches rapidly became all-too-familiar.

At first it was a losing battle. The pills would arrive. I would call the distributor and cancel the account I'd never opened, checking my credit card statement again and again for charges that did not appear - thinking perhaps some other poor soul was footing the bill for the bottles we received.

Finally, today, we solved the mystery. It turns out we are indeed the victims of strange form of credit-card fraud. Someone stole my name, our address, and Brian's phone and card numbers. This person did not indulge in a shopping spree at Walmart or Best Buy. He or she did not book a ticket to Europe, or sell the information off to their friends and family so others could do any of the above.

No, most diabolical of all diabolic schemes, this person simply signed us up to receive every type of herbal supplement with a "free trial, you pay shipping only" promotion out there on the internet. The three brands shown above have already come in the mail. We have reason to believe a few more are on the way.

Luckily, all these companies require a valid credit card before they ship the pills, so when the number fails the flood should cease. Until then, we are hoping to make up for all the irritation by selling the pills on ebay at a huge profit to people with low self-esteem and a fear of death. It's either that or take the pills and go on with clear digestive systems, slim figures, and lives that will last forever.

5 comments:

Erica said...

Seems more like a marketing ploy (of the same line as spam and telemarketing perhaps) than credit fraud. Annoying either way tho.

Robin said...

Well, it's credit card fraud because someone other than us authorized use of our credit card - each bottle we received cost us about $7 in shipping fees.

Erica said...

Oh I agree there. It's just, well, you are the ones receiving the items for the charges (that you don't want and didn't order) instead of some random other. Perhaps a better example would be text message advertising, you still have to pay for the text that the advertising company sent you, even though you're not interested and didn't ask to receive it. While getting someone's cell number (that they don't give out) isn't quite the same as a credit card, you're still "getting" the item you paid for.

Don't get me wrong, none of this stuff is good or right or honest. I'm just saying it sounds more like someone who's trying to market a product to you than someone who's out stealing card numbers in order to try and get money.

Unknown said...

That is so weird.

(I linked through from Brian's blog. Congrats to you both!)

gpickle said...

Don't take the pills! You'll wind up driving a Hummer H2 to the mall on the weekends, drinking starbucks too-many syllable drinks and being happy all the time. Take a stand, just say no to internet pills.